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Its probably a bit silly to still hold a torch for someone you knew… - Sawboss' Journal

About Its probably a bit silly to still hold a torch for someone you knew…

Previous Entry May. 20th, 2010 @ 01:26 am Next Entry
Its probably a bit silly to still hold a torch for someone you knew 13 or so years ago at university and haven't seen since right?
But last night or rather this morning I awoke from a dream with her in it, and I haven't been able to shake thoughts of her from my head all day.
The annoying thing is its not some idle fantasy crush type person you knew you never had a chance with, but someone I was rather close to at the time who in the last few times we met I felt thought similarly about me, but to whom I never really expressed how I felt - well not properly anyway.
The sort of person who stuck so firmly in my head at the time that I hardly looked or thought about anyone else for years after, even when others did make their feelings known, you know just on the off chance that I'd actually see her again.
The sort of person who every so often my mind wanders back to and wonders why I was so fucking stupid and never said anything, but knows that it was because of the normal fear of rejection shit and my normal its not good manners to do so stuff.
Not someone stunningly beautiful, but someone I found to be for their personality, charm, wit and everything else.
And hmm here she is again in my head 13 years later still 20-21 in my mind, still no idea what ever became of her, still running down the street in her bare feet like the last time I saw her just because she'd heard me next door.
Bah so fucking stupid, I wish I could either just resolve it or shake her again for another 6 months or a year, and the former is hardly an option.

So yeah Sally Huxham still thinking of you 13 years later, wondering what you did and who you became. Hope you're doing well.
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From:faerierhona
Date:May 20th, 2010 07:21 am (UTC)
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Have you tried finding her on Facebook or similar? I know I had someone like that for years, and when I found them again I reconnected wonderfully as a friend, but it also made the other feelings fade as I got to know the person they are now.

We are close enough that we go on holiday together these days :-)
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From:sl4irl
Date:May 20th, 2010 09:34 am (UTC)
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I was going to suggest this.
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From:skinny_cartman
Date:May 20th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
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Yup, no joy.
Equally couldn't find her a few years back on friends reunited either.
But then if someone got married they may not have the same name anymore

See that is the kind of thing I'd like, because you know we were mates and stuff - or at least like to say Hi, what's going on with you these days.
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From:emma7783
Date:May 20th, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC)
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Only suggestions I can make are a tad stalkerish (like http://www.192.com/ which is great if you need to find where your thieving ex has vanished too, possibly a bit odd if you are looking for a reunion without akward 'so where did you say you find my details?' questions...)
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From:skinny_cartman
Date:May 20th, 2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
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Looking into it I could try the university alumni association and setting up a reunion of a few fellow classmates from that era
192.com is a bit too stalkesque for me
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From:emma7783
Date:May 21st, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)
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Actually, thinking of it the Southampton alumni service is great for that sort of thing. You can even put up 'Where are they now?' requests if you can't find a memeber of the alumni on the site.
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From:adze
Date:May 20th, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
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Try looking through the friends pages of mutual friends from the time, see if you can spot a familiar face?
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From:skinny_cartman
Date:May 20th, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
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Therein lies another issue in that I've hardly kept in touch with any uni friends, I think the only ones I know nowadays are ones I used to RP with rather than folks on my course
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From:emma7783
Date:May 20th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC)
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I just wanted to say reading that put a really big smile on my face this morning, thanks for sharing :-)
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From:skinny_cartman
Date:May 20th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
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One hopes in a good way and not in a HA! way :-)
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From:emma7783
Date:May 20th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
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Of course in a good way! :P
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From:diasporal_waves
Date:May 20th, 2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
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Oddly I was thinking of this yesterday...This is going to be me in 13 years time! Not looking forward to it!
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From:mionassmaster
Date:May 21st, 2010 09:31 am (UTC)
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Aw Matt. It's nice to actually read something on livejournal about someone LIKING someone. Usually it is covered with what people hate.

I hope you find her dude.
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